


On Watch

by Senor_Sparklefingers, steelneena



Series: CR 2 Oneshots and Short Series [11]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb backstory reveal briefly, February Kiss Prompt, First Kiss, M/M, NO ANGST ONLY LOVE, on watch together, post rex fic, zemnian love confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 17:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17749973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Senor_Sparklefingers/pseuds/Senor_Sparklefingers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelneena/pseuds/steelneena
Summary: Post Rez, things just aren't what Molly thought they'd be. Especially not with Caleb.





	On Watch

It was a funny thing, coming back to the Nein. Molly had been...gone...for months, and while he'd been away, his friends had gone off on misadventures, grown stronger and bolder in what they did. When he'd found them again, back in Zadash, he'd feared being able to fit back in. But they welcomed him back in with open arms, and while it was slow going at first, Molly finally felt like he was back, like he knew his old friends and a new one again.

Well. All but one.

Caleb.

There was something completely different about his dynamic with the group that just felt off.  Where he understood why things with Nott were different, Caleb's damage who entirely a mystery. He danced around Mollymauk, as if touching him were something ridiculous...like lava. And the rest of the Nein danced around Caleb dancing around him. Everything was off. And he didn't understand _why_ things were off, or how to fix things. He was out of the loop, the only in the group to be kept out of some sort of secret knowledge.

Molly was tired of being the odd man out.

It wasn't exactly as though Caleb had been avoiding him. In fact, it was the opposite. All of them, including Caleb, went out of their way to spend extra time with him. But one thing (that had admittedly always been a rare occurrence) had yet to happen.  A shared watch between the two of them. It simply hadn't happened yet. Caleb usually took watch with Beau or Nott or, on occasion, Caduceus (who Molly thought was a riot). Molly usually stayed up with Jester or Yasha...or, on occasion, Caduceus, effectively meaning that neither of them were ever on watch with one another.

That night, though, was going to be different.

Caleb tended to volunteer for watch most nights out of a week, so Molly casually waited until it was late, standing nearby where Caleb sat close to the fire so that he could make out the lettering in his books.

After Nott stifled three long, wide yawns, Caleb snapped his book shut. "I will take first watch tonight. Whoever else is quite tired should probably get some sleep."

Molly's tail perked up and he raised a hand, smiling lopsidedly. "I'm doing fine, I can do first watch."

"Ah..okay. You are sure?"

There was something in Caleb’s eyes that spoke of long enduring concern. The same sort that Molly was starting to get tired of seeing daily. He fought back the urge to snort and roll his eyes. He wasn't dead, not anymore, and he wasn't going to let it happen again. And he was tired of everyone treating him like he was made of glass.

"I'm sure. I can handle a few hours of watch, don't worry about me!"

"Very well. Who am I to tell you what you can and cannot do?"

After that somewhat odd remark, the others settled in for the night, while Caleb pulled his books back out, snapped Frumpkin back from wherever he'd been roaming and made himself comfortable.

Eventually, Caleb sighed and looked up. "You, Mister Mollymauk, are worse than my cat."

"Hmm?" Molly glanced at him, shooting Caleb a toothy smile. "Why, Mister Caleb, I have no idea what you mean."

Caleb gestured to the place on the log they were sitting on where Molly's tail flickered back and forth. "Of course you do not. You are hardly ever aware of that tail."

"That thing has a mind of its own," he said with a soft chuckle, reaching back to pull his tail around his leg. Damn thing...it really _did_ have a mind of its own, giving away his nerves and fears far too easily.

"Is something wrong?" Caleb asked airily, looking away from Mollymauk as he did.

"Nothing beyond the ordinary troubles of life," Molly said, staring back into the fire again. "Stresses of travel and watch and the like. Nothing to worry about."

"Well..." Caleb chewed on his inner cheek. "Uh, that's, uh, good? I guess."

For a minute, Molly was silent, before signing, leaning back on the log and looking at Caleb. "Can I ask you something?"

Caleb's eyes only narrowed briefly. "I do not see a reason you could not?"

"Do you think it was a mistake? My coming back, rejoining you?"

Blinking rapidly, Caleb only just managed to stutter out his response. "W-was? Excuse me?"

"Sometimes I wonder," he continued, voice casual as he glanced back at the fire, "why I came back. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd rather be here than dead, but..." He sighed. "You've all done these amazing things. You're a real family now, you know?" And where was the place for a carnie who's only gifts got him killed, in a group of heroes who fought giants and dragons? He'd only known them all a few months. What right did he have to force his way back into their lives? Especially if all he did was give them one more thing to worry about.

"You absolutely belong here, with us. Please do not suggest otherwise." The vehemence in Caleb's voice game him pause.

He hesitated for a moment. Did he, though? They'd all had months of shared experiences that he would never be able to understand, even if they told him. It went both ways. He hadn't exactly been open about what he'd been up to before finding the Nein again...because they wouldn't understand. He couldn't burden them with what he'd been through. But he was just one man. It stung, that he'd missed so much and that they were all still trying to keep him safe instead of making him feel welcome.

"We cannot do without you, Molly. We are already disasters, but at least you had some sense. You do not know what-"

"No, I don't." There was an edge to his voice.

"I don't know what you all went through because you won't talk to me! I have the bare bones version from Jester and Yasha, and...and maybe I'll never understand what it was like for you all. But you all keep trying to keep me safe and...and..." Molly trailed off, looking away. When he spoke again, he was quiet and unsure. "...I don't fit, anymore. And I don't know if anyone wants me to fit."

Caleb sucked in a sharp breath and turned to face Molly. "I want you here." The words were quiet, but firm. "Ja, things happened. However, even if we were not with you, you were with us. Always with us. We are who we are now because of you. There were...times...times we did not tell you about because maybe they weren't important at the time, or I was busy with something else and not around to remember for Jester or Yasha. Times when we thought perhaps one more of us would leave the way you had."

Molly met Caleb's gaze, and he looked so tired...almost as tired as Molly felt. "I just...I don't know. It's dumb. You've all become this amazing group of people! You're a family!"

One hand absentmindedly went to scratch at the scar on his chest. He could still feel the sharp pain of the glaive there, sometimes. Most of the time, it was just an ugly reminder of his failure to save his friends, that _he_ was the reason he felt out of place with people he'd died for. Sometimes it itched, too. Rather badly, actually.

Before he could register what was happening, Caleb reached out and took his hand, pulling it down and away. "You should not scratch it."

"I know."

He looked down at the scar, at the new lines he'd managed to claw into it, trying not to focus on the feeling of Caleb's on his. They hadn't really...touched, since he'd come back.

"It itches. A lot of the time, it's not too bad."

There was a brief moment of hesitance. Caleb was looking down at their joined hands, but made no move to let go. "I know the feeling."

Molly smiled wryly. "I wanted to get a tattoo to cover it up. Something like a sun or a big flower or something. But with the way it is right now...well. I'd just ruin it." Better to have the constant reminder of his fuck up, anyway. Made him less likely to do it again.

"I am sure whatever you decide will be as spectacular as the rest of them." Caleb flashed a small smile before looking back down.

"How do you deal with it? The itching, I mean," he said softly, glancing briefly at Caleb's bandages. He didn't know what was under those, but he always assumed they were covered for a reason. Slowly, Caleb disentangled himself from Molly's loose grip and began to slowly unwrap the bandages.

"These keep me from the worst of it." He said.

The bandages came away wrapped layer by layer until one forearm was bared to Molly's gaze. His eyes widened a little at the criss crossing scars on Caleb's arm. Part of him suspected the rest of the group knew about these...but he could have kept them from Molly. He chuckled softly, eyes softening as he looked at Caleb's arm.

"Heh. We match."

"Ja. Something like that. Eh... would you, um..." Caleb stumbled over the words, lifting his still wrapped hand to his cheek and rubbing the scruff there nervously. "I will tell you how I got them, if...that is...uh...if you want to know."

"Caleb. If you want to tell me, you can," Molly said, resisting the urge to reach out and run a finger along Caleb's arm, across the scars. "The fact that you showed them to me? That you're willing to tell me? That's all I want."

Squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Caleb seemed to gather all of his courage. "There was a man, where I went to school. And he, uh," Caleb chuckled darkly. "was _invested_ in my success. He wanted me to become more powerful. And he had this idea that certain, uh, crystals, would contain such power."

"And he...he did this to you." Molly reached out to touch Caleb's arm, avoiding the scars. There were so many questions he had. Who was this man? Why do this to, he assumed, a child? Was he still alive, and would Caleb mind much if he killed him?

He said none of those things.

"Ja. They were his, ah, experiments. They burned and stung quite badly." Though his voice was casual, Caleb was shaking. "Ikithon wanted us to be strong." He shook himself out of it and drew his hand back from Molly's wandering touch to rewrap the arm.

"Thank you for telling me, Caleb." Molly pulled his hand back, muttering a quiet apology. "I'm sorry. I...uh, I take it that the others know already?"

There was a pause, while Caleb wound the linen strips back into place, putting his past back into the grave as he went. "Ja, aber...but it was not all... It was my choice, but it was not. I did it out of necessity in the moment." When he was done the edges tucked neatly away, he glanced almost shyly back up at Molly. "This I do, because... ah..." He shook his head and ran a hand over his face. "This is not necessity."

Molly was quiet, thinking about what that meant.

Caleb told him because he wanted to. Not because he felt like he had to. Molly knew what everyone else knew now...but he was the only one Caleb chose to tell.

"Oh. I...oh," he said softly, at a loss for words, for once.

The enormity of it hung between them. Absently, Caleb rubbed his beard again.

"So..."

"...you know, I haven't told anyone about what I was up to, while I waited for you guys to get back to Zadash..." For a moment, Molly looked unsure, glancing back into the fire, before scooting closer to Caleb. "What do you want to know?"

Caleb's eyebrows drew downward and in. "Nothing, thank you. This is not meant to be an exchange. I do not require knowledge in return. I did so because I wanted to, not because I expected anything."

"I know. But, I want to tell you. I want somebody else to know...and I want that somebody to be you."

Almost instantly, his hand dropped back to his lap. "I see." Though he still looked agitated, Caleb nodded firmly. "Go ahead then, I suppose, and tell me what you desire to say."

Molly was quiet while he thought about what he wanted to tell Caleb. He could have told him about the panic of digging himself out of a grave, _again_ , made more difficult by the frozen earth. Or how he'd been sick for days afterwards, alone and scared with patchy memories and a note he could barely read. Instead, he decided to tell him something else.

"I missed you. I missed everyone, of course, and I was scared because I had no idea if you all were safe or alive...but I mostly missed you."

Caleb blinked and stammered. "Why? Why me? I do not understand."

He gave the wizard a toothy grin. "Because I like you, Mister Caleb. You wrote that note, didn't you? You helped me find my way back home." Molly's smile softened as continued. "I don't know if I would have ever found you all again without that note. And I kept thinking about you in Hupperdook, and how happy we all were...and I missed you. That's all."

"Oh."  Caleb took in a deep, shaking breath, his eyes lingering on the shining points of Molly's elongated canines, which gleamed in the firelight. "Ja, I suppose that the note would engendered such feelings. It was a group effort to write, of course, between myself, Beauregard and Nott."

"I mean, I know that...but it was your handwriting, wasn't it? I can't see Nott or Beau writing that precisely." Molly had looked away from Caleb's face, trying not to focus on how good he looked by firelight. This was supposed to be a serious conversation, after all.

"Nott has quite nice handwriting, thank you," Caleb replied in obvious half joking manner. "She really does, but...I suppose I understand your meaning. It was something to hold onto?"

"I don't know if I've seen her handwriting," he said with a slight laugh. "For all I know she has the best penmanship of all of us! But...but yeah. It was something to keep me grounded, and..."

He trailed off. Caleb seemed so much _better_ now than when he'd last seen him. Molly wouldn't deny his attraction to all of the Nein, but there had been something there with Caleb...a possibility for something more.  He'd never really felt like that about anyone in his short life. But Molly knew that Caleb wasn't ready, that he needed time and space and that there was a lot more going on than Molly knew about.

So he had flirted in jest, masking his growing feelings with humor and friendship. And then he'd died and now it seemed like none of that mattered anymore.

"I am glad that it helped in any way."  

Caleb was watching him. His gaze rested so heavily Molly could feel it. Molly was silent for some time, lost in thought and unsure what to say. He told Caleb that he'd missed him, that he liked him...what more was there to say?

"Mister Mollymauk?"The words were uttered so faintly, Molly had to strain to hear.

"Yes, Mister Caleb?"

"I have missed you, more than I ever thought I would."

"I...oh."

Molly was at a loss for words at that, and he looked up to meet Caleb's gaze before leaning in, gathering his courage, and kissing him. It wasn't anything drawn out or particularly romantic. Just a soft peck on the lips that was over too soon for Molly's liking. Caleb was wide eyed, his breathing light and fluttery. In all of half a second he'd brought his fingers delicately to his lips to caress the place where Molly's lips had touched. Molly blushed and looked away, fighting the urge to apologize to Caleb for what he just did.

But then, all at once, Caleb's hand was at the back of his head, fingers tangling in his hair as he pressed his lips against Molly's hastily in return.

He made a small noise of surprise before returning the kiss, wrapping an arm around Caleb's waist and closing his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Caleb, his lips on him, his fingers in his hair. At first, Caleb was stiff in his embrace, but slowly he melted against Molly,  allowing himself to be drawn inwards as he tentatively continued the kiss.

Making a soft noise of pleasure against Caleb's lips, Molly’s other hand went to caress his cheek softly, his fingers running against the scruff of his beard.

When Caleb faltered, pausing to let out an involuntary sigh at the feeling, Molly pulled back, looking at Caleb with concern. "Is this okay?"

"Mmm, ja...ja, Mollymauk..." Eyes half lidded, pupils blown wide, Caleb watched the parting of Molly's lips, and the flush on his cheeks. "Ja. Alles ist okay."

He couldn't help but grin at that, letting out a small laugh. "Oh, good. Because I've wanted to do this for some time."

And he leaned forward and kissed Caleb again, with none of the hesitation of the first time.

It had been so, so long since Caleb had done anything of the sort. His earlier initiative lost, he let himself be led. Molly pulled Caleb close, running his tongue across his lips and caressing his cheek again. He wanted to make this last, to commit this to memory. He didn't want to lose this.

Pliant and willing, Caleb found himself pressed firmly against Molly's lithe body. Panting with exhilaration, he parted his lips at Molly's prodding. Molly kissed him like he was drowning, like all he needed to survive was Caleb. He gently nipped at his lip, mindful of his fangs, running his tongue across the top of Caleb's mouth. If Caleb was surprised by his forked tongue, he didn't show it. He only kissed back, still a little unsure. It was if he were remembering as they went how hands were meant to slot over hips and lips part and move together with tongues and breath and the gentle prodding heights of the endorphins flooding his brain, that sounded like Molly saying his name over and over and over again. Molly kept things relatively slow, letting Caleb adjust and remember what it was like to be held like this, what it was like to hold somebody close so you forget where you end and they begin. He didn't want this to end, Molly thought quietly in the part of his mind that wasn't chanting Caleb's name. He didn't want to kiss anyone else like he was kissing Caleb.

Sighing prettily into Molly's mouth, Caleb let muscle memory take over, his hands running up Molly's back, pulling so Molly's weight was above him, sinking him backwards, and Caleb had to arch up to meet the press of hands and lips.

Molly groaned as Caleb leaned back, pulling him down on top of him. He knew exactly what to do, how to touch and hold Caleb to make him sigh like that again, tangling a hand in his hair and holding tight.

Caleb keened, clutching at Molly above him, breaking the kiss. He was breathing heavily and his heart was thumping loudly in his ears. But, most importantly of all, he could feel Molly's heart against his own chest thrumming strong and true.

No, Molly wasn't going to leave. Not ever again, what had he been thinking, not fitting with the group? How could he think that, looking down at Caleb, face flushed and panting, lips swollen, beautiful and here and fitting so well in Molly's arms? Molly watched him intently, breaths heavy, before smiling softly and resting his forehead against Caleb's.

Slowly, Caleb's breathing evened out, though the exquisite tension coiled in his muscles didn't dissipate. "You belong here," he breathed out softly. "You belong here, Mollymauk. You always have."

Molly nodded wordlessly, closing his eyes as he held Caleb close.

"Please, do not go."

"No," he whispered. "I won't leave. Not ever again."

"Gut. Gut."

Molly smiled a little, before snorting and laughing. "We...we're not doing a very good job at being on watch," he said through giggles, making no move to let go of Caleb or get up.

"I think I watching quite well, thank you," Caleb laughed, still a bit out of breath. His eyes never left Molly's. Molly laughed and kissed him again, soft and gentle. Caleb finally relaxed into the embrace completely, putting one hand on Molly's cheek.  "Ich...ich liebe dich. Ich werde dich für immer lieben.

Above all, Molly wished he spoke Zemnian. He wished he knew exactly what Caleb was saying that made Molly's heart ache and bring tears to his eyes.  Molly leaned into Caleb's touch, blinking back tears and smiling.

"I care about you very much, Caleb..."

"What... What do you... want... from this?" Caleb asked tentatively.

"I...don't know," he admitted. He was only two, he'd never been in a relationship before. Not a real one. "But I think I'd like to just...be with you. See where that takes us. If that's okay?"

"I have not done this is a very long time. But I will try." He worried his lip. "I will do my best...for you."

"I've never done this," Molly admitted. "I don't know what people really do when they decide to be together. But I want to learn. And I want to do my best for you, too."

"Then we will figure it out together."

"Together. I like the sound of that." Molly smiled and leaned down to rest his head on Caleb's chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. "What did it mean? What you said, in Zemnian. Ich...ich liebe dich, did I say that right?"

"Ask me again...in...ah..." Molly heard Caleb's heart speed up, opened his mouth to speak, but Caleb beat him to it. "Ask me again, but not tonight. Another time. And I will tell you. I swear it."

"Mmm. Okay, I will. I'm holding you to that."

He listened to the beat of Caleb's heart, as it sped up and slowed down to a steady thump.Their watch would be over soon, he knew. But he didn't want to move, didn't want to let go or go to sleep, in case this was a dream. If it was, he didn't want to wake up.

  



End file.
